Christmas. It is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, full of magic, love, family, and cheer. When Noah was on earth our house looked like Christmas in Whoville since mid-November. Noah loved the Christmas lights, the tree, and like most little ones his age - the presents.
This year Christmas is different. There is no magic or cheer. Someone who is so loved is missing. I still hang his ornaments on the tree, his stocking still hung by the chimney with care. There is a whole in my heart - dark, void, and full of grief wishing that my life was so different.
Everywhere I go the world is bustling with the buzz of the season. But it's different for me. I try not to notice the families that are complete and joyful, they remind me what I'm missing and my heart bleeds all over again. Noah was my baker and this year I couldn't make his favourite sugar cookies, there would be no point when their biggest fan wasn't here to enjoy them.
